We live in a consumer heavy society and our precious natural resources are slowly fading away. For those of us who feel the pain of this massive imbalance, buying presents for our friends and family can be challenging. How can we, in our right minds, contribute to consumerism and its waste? Well, we can take some deep breaths and really think about what and why we are giving.

We give because generosity feels good for the giver and the receiver. It’s also an essential part of relationships that we should celebrate rather than ignore.

So what to do?

A friend of mine recently told me about “The 5 Gift Rule”. I’m going to give it a try this year, with a lot of freedom. I like the idea of having guidelines that seem reasonable, and I like the idea of naming the gifts. Rather than grabbing items on sale or things I think the kids should have, I can ask myself if it fits into these ideas that I’ve chosen beforehand.

Use these guidelines in whatever way they work for you. You can give each person on your list each of the things, or just make sure that every gift you give is guided by your ideals.

It goes something like this:

Something they want. Everyone loves to have their dreams come true, and there are always things that they want. I like to give feelings rather than just stuff. For instance, my girls love to get pampered and relax. Rather than get them the latest gadget, I prefer to get them facials and massages throughout the year. The gift of relaxation rewards me too, being around chill, happy people is great!
Something they need. I like to give simple self-care items that always need to be replenished. Your list may include needs like new tires or help with rent or a yearly refill of their favorite skin care!
Something to wear. This one is so fun! Whether you love to craft or you prefer to support local artisans and sustainable clothing companies, giving the gift of clothing is always a good idea. Who doesn’t need cozy socks in the winter hand-knitted by Auntie Sage?
Something to read. You can't really go wrong with books. Gift certificates can help keep independent bookstores stay open! Plus, when they go to get their books you can talk about the fun quirks of the bookstore. I usually give gift certificates because everyone’s style is different, but a local author’s work could be a great gift that could even start a book club. Hmmmm… You can also give the books you’ve already read, you recycle and have someone to discuss the book with.
Something to experience. Early on in motherhood, I learned that giving my attention is giving love. Spending undistracted time together is a love language that everyone speaks. Experiences can range from shared meals, paddle boarding, picnics, hikes, and other fun outdoor adventures . I also love giving the gift of self-care. A gift certificate for a facial not only allows them to feel cared for, but the experience can also inspire them to take better care of themselves. That’s the best gift anyone can give!

If the idea of gifts gets overwhelming this season, let this simple guide help narrow down your list. And, no matter what or how you celebrate, may your season be warm, bright, and filled with love.

5 Tips for Ethical Gift Giving This Holiday Season